the Junkyard Willie Prank Call Tapes - Customer Service Crackpots

(formerly Touch-Tone Terrorists)

By popular demand this 4th and final CD features more INCOMING calls for customer service that turn angry! Callers get caught completely off guard, thinking they have reached a credit card company, bank, auto insurance company, auto rental company, phone company, office supplies company, etc.  Unsuspecting customers get fed up, then scream and yell when confronted with corrupt "customer care reps"!   The cast of lunatics includes Junkyard Willie, Jim Bob the Inbred Hillbilly, Blade the Rock ‘n Roll Burn Out, Stu Jaimison the arrogant big shot, Vladimir the Russian with the attitude … all conducting business with reckless abandon.   Try treating customers like this at YOUR work and you’ll be out of a job! Nowadays customer service is sub-par -- but it was never THIS bad! This CD is further confirmation that "You can't find good help these days!"  It has taken 1 1/2 years to record this CD.  Threats of lawsuits were endured as well.  Running time: more than 68 minutes.  Contains profanity! (Advise Your Parents) 


1) Rent-A-Car - Jim Bob When a woman calls to extend her car rental period for one more day, Jim Bob the Inbred Hillbilly gets nosy and asks, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”   This immediately evokes hostility and confrontation that only Jim Bob could mastermind.

2) I Wanna Cancel - Vladamir / Willie As heard on Stern. Vladamir tells this customer that he hopes someone will leave POOP on his doorstep because he wants to cancel some credit card charges. Then Willie takes a hard line response to the customer's complaints.

3) Rude Russian Banker - Vladamir / Willie Woman calls up a bank to find out information about her savings account but instead gets angry and frustrated with the disrespectful attitude and the language barrier that separates her and Vladamir the Russian!

4) Respect for Your Customers - Stu Jaimison / Willie As heard on Stern. More pathetic customer service from Stu and Willie.   Woman gives Junkyard Willie a speech about customer service etiquette, telling him that his “manners are absolutely atrocious”, etc.

5) Wrongful Credit Card Charges - Willie This credit card customer has every right to have charges removed but Junkyard Willie insists on selling him something he doesn’t need.

6) Junkyard Willie's Psychic Line - Vladamir / Willie Young man calls and listens with his girlfriend to Willie give a worthless and warped card reading.   When an argument unfolds Willie declares, “You gonna shine hubcaps the rest of your life if you don’t call back!”

7) D.R.U.N.K. - Stu Jaimison Stu Jaimison refuses a female caller’s request for insurance payment, saying that the claimant was drunk, and therefore caused the accident.   Stu’s rush to judgement naturally prompts an angry reaction.  Then Stu has the nerve and arrogance to lash back by saying “…If we want your opinion we’ll beat it out of you.”    

8) Insurance Settlement (part 1) - Jim Bob Loud, outspoken man gets furious with Jim Bob. RealAudio

9) Insurance Settlement (part 2) - Willie Man calls back but only gets the same treatment from Willie.

10) Save the Drama for Yo Momma - Willie / Jim Bob - As heard on Stern. A fed up auto insurance customer encounters hostility from Jim Bob and Willie.  But this customer isn’t AT ALL afraid to voice her disapproval!  RealAudio

11) Insurance Claim Check - Jim Bob Woman gets angry with Jim Bob when he accuses her of driving drunk.

12) Red Neck Insurance Rep - Jim Bob Husband and wife get very angry with Jim Bob!

13) Cheap Ass - Stu Jaimison - As heard on Stern. A customer wants to buy lead replacements for a pen. Stu calls him a cheap ass, saying that he should buy a whole new pen.

14) Delrod Deliver da Mail - Clarence Washington Ebonics talking tracking representative talks a whole lot of mumbo jumbo!

15) Shoe Sale - Jim Bob Jim Bob infuriates a customer who calls about a shoe sale she read about in the paper.

16) You Are the Trash - Blade A woman calls to speak to some employee but is forced to try to get Blade to get him out of the bathroom. Woman gets angry with Blade.

17) Corrupt Phone Company - Willie, Jim Bob, Stu - As heard on Stern. Customer has received a shut off notice for her phone service. Willie and Stu offer the worst customer service ever.

18) Trashcan Lid Beating - Willie, Jim Bob, Stu - Girl calls to find out information about a car rental but instead listens to a very abrasive employee pushing his weight around. 

19) Redneck Repo Man - Jim Bob - Guy THINKS that he is speaking to the man who illegally repossessed his car. Jim Bob tells him that he's "lazy", "doesn't want to work" and "watches wrestling all day", etc.

20) Nasty Freak - Blade Girl only needs a FAX number but must speak to a very weird dude named "Blade".

21) Gimme a Ride Dude - Blade Outbound call in response to a motorcycle for sale. Does Blade want to buy the bike OR does he really just need a ride back home from the Rainbow Bar & Grill.