Here's some comical reviews and emails from riff-raff complaining about the junk they downloaded for free...

 

BIG FAN, BUT THIS IS FAKED AND NOT FUNNY, September 17, 2010

By *** ** (Brooklyn, NY) 

This review is from: Customer Care Creeps [Explicit] (MP3 Download)

I've been a big fan of TTT for a long time - One brilliant guy, doing several genius characters, with great ideas and material. However...

This album is absolutely pitiful. I was shocked when by the third call, I realized that the "victims" of these pranks are the touch-tone-terrorist himself. First, the accent, delivery, and cadence of the "victims" are OBVIOUSLY him - Second, you can clearly hear the phasing and anomalies of his voice processors on the "victims" side of the calls. Thirdly, the "victims" end of the phone line is exceptionally clear, and you can tell that it was a studio recording, simply equalized to sound like it's coming from the other side of the line.

I never thought that such a brilliant guy could lame out so badly. Not only is it fake, but it's also awfully acted/performed. I've done some acting, and I know labored and intended interruptions when I hear them. I've never heard two people who are arguing bounce back and forth so smoothly, and leave such perfect spaces for each others' lines. That doesn't even happen in normal calm conversations.

On top of all of this, the material is extremely boring and flat. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY ON ANY OF THIS!!!!

Go screw yourself, TTT.

RESPONSE: Thank you. The descriptor "pitiful" is a badge of honor that is much appreciated around here and even gets you top billing amongst these angry reviews! I'm glad we can agree that nobody should waste their time and money on the calls you downloaded. Instead save it for the real thing.

 

Previous releases were real and hilarious, these calls are obviously STAGED and a big dissapointment, August 15, 2010

By ****44  

This review is from: Customer Care Creeps [Explicit] (MP3 Download)

Been a fan for years, so was excited to listen to the new CD. It is obvious that these are fake, staged calls!! The "caller's" voices are done with your voice synthesizer... I expected better from you TTT - Fire your manager/Agent or whoever made the decision to put this CD out. You could be BIG because your stuff is original and hilarious, but way to shoot yourself in the foot with this album... what were you thinking?!

RESPONSE: The manager/agent gets a generous six figure RAISE whenever some idiot falls hook line and sinker for TTT decoys. What were YOU thinking?

 

Fake Pranks! - March 21, 2011


By **** *** (MIDDLETOWN, IN)

 

This review is from: Customer Care Creeps [Explicit] (MP3 Download)


I just listened to this EP. I must say it is QUITE obvious that these are fake pranks. The "victims" are the same lady and the male "victim" is Stu Jaimison's voice. Anyone who knows TTT well should have been able to spot this immediately. I hope the 6th installment (if there ever is one) has actual REAL pranks on it like the first 4 disks did. I'm extremely disappointed. It is obvious from beginning to end that these are not real pranks in any way, shape or form. How disappointing....

RESPONSE: Perhaps you should direct your complaint to the torrent site that brought you all of this fraud and dissatisfaction. Maybe you can sue the Internets.

 

Sent via direct email!!! July 17, 2010

Hey man,

I just wanted to say that I'm a huge fan of your work. I first heard of you on Howard Stern, but then I started buying your CDs and became a supporter of yours.

I didn't think there was going to be any new release, so I was surprised when I checked your site and saw that there was one recently. I got Costumer Care Creeps off of Amazon, and was really excited to hear these new calls. However, I was majorly disappointed to discover that the calls weren't real. I have listened to your calls long enough to know your voice immediately, so to hear you playing the part of the customers was a real bummer. There was no mention of this on your site or on Amazon, and if there was... I certainly wouldn't have grabbed it. I don't understand how anyone wouldn't immediately be aggravated by this.

Now I'm not looking for a refund or anything, I just wanted to express my disappointed as a long time fan and supporter. Was the a reason these calls were staged? Were they real calls at one point that are acted out? Is it a legal thing?

Anyway, that's all... I love your past efforts, and I always will, but passing this latest release off as legitimate is really shitty. As Blade would say, "it's a major bummer dude".

- Tom *&%$#*

RESPONSE: Amazon? Who are we kidding? Dear aggravated bit torrent downloader.... Thank God you aren't looking for a refund because without actually having purchased anything, that would tend to put a damper on things. "Judge Judy, I am asking for a refund in the amount of zero dollars and zero cents".

 

Full of fake calls, May 4, 2011
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)

I'm quite disappointed with Junkyard Willie. This album is full of obvious fake and repetitive calls. There are still some laughs, and his voice is as brilliant as ever, but why, in nearly 10 years, did he not build up a playlist of better, REAL tracks?

If you want the best of Junkyard Willie and his crackpot team of idiots then buy Customer Service Disasters and/or Customer Service Crackpots and leave this curiosity alone. A big let-down indeed.

RESPONSE: I'm amazed that you still managed to get some laughs out of it and even gave it 2 stars! LOL. I would have expected nothing more than 1 star from a TOP 500 REVIEWER. Not a bad score for something admittedly fake and repetitive!

 

GOTTA ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY LAME, June 14, 2012

This review is from: Customer Care Creeps [Explicit]
I THOUGHT THE NEGATIVE REVIEWS FOR THIS WAS EXTREME, UNTIL I SAMPLED EVERY TRACK. THE SPONTANEOUS QUALITY OF THE EARLIER CD'S IS MISSING HERE. THE ENTHUSIASM IS GONE, AS WELL. THE VOICES SOUND NOT AS DISTINCT AS BEFORE. JUNKYARD WILLIE SOUNDS TOO INTELLIGENT AND MISSING THE ETHNIC SOUND, IT'S LIKE THE VOICE BOX ISN'T SET RIGHT. SAME WITH JIM BOB. I MUST AGREE WITH THE OTHER NEG REVIEWS, THAT THE WOMAN ON THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE (THE VICTIM) SOUNDS LIKE THE SAME LADY, WITH POSSIBLY THE EXCEPTION OF 1 TRACK. I SAY PASS ON THIS ONE, EVEN IF YOU ARE A DIE HARD FAN. SHAME, CUZ I REALLY ENJOYED THE OLDER ALBUMS.

RESPONSE: You're right. It was a very half ass effort! The quality is pure crap because it was all recorded in pieces and spliced up in the studio! NOT over the phone! It sounds like the same "lady" because it's the same GUY doing all of the voices! Lady?? Is this Manti Te'o who posted this review? We say PASS ON THIS ONE too. You might want to sample track 1 on Amazon.com before you review something you downloaded off a torrent site which we think is not "pretty lame" but REALLY lame!

 

FUNNY BUT FAKE, January 20, 2013
By D ******* 


This review is from: Customer Service Crackpots (Audio CD)
Some of these tracks are staged, I recognize some of the voices from other cds. Some of them are even robbed to add tracks. little kids calling Burger king, lame

RESPONSE: You stumped us with this review. We're still searching for a call with "little kids" calling Burger King. What track number is that? 1? 2? 5? 12? 18? 22? By "robbed to add tracks" this reviewer presumably means reusing old calls to fill up CD space. You stumped us with that one too! We appreciate giving Crackpots two stars though. Not bad for an admitted load of crap posted on torrent sites. We can at least agree that robbing tracks is a bad thing. How 'bout practicing what you preach D?

By *ick "*ick"

These are staged how many people know what the better business Bureau really is. There is one woman he uses for almost all of them. Can't believe he would stumpl this low for sales. Sound is way off too

RESPONSE: Thank you for confirming the obvious. They are staged! One thing you must be corrected on is that no "woman" staged these calls. It was a guy using a Yamaha SPX-90 for pitch shift. Is this actually Manti Te'o posting this review? If you keep mistaking a guy for a woman then we will have to report you to the Better Business Bureau.